My goal in the past few months is to focus on the positive, not the negative. I'm trying, but this week has been so exhausting. I have been blessed and I know it, but I'm worn out in ways that are not easily described. My first blessing after Christmas was that I was able to visit with this amazing neurologist who is working on helping me with my physical health issues that I have been dealing with since last spring - Praise the Lord, I am so thankful. To get the right treatments many tests need to be ran. I was in and out constantly the entire week getting tests done.
School started Monday, the kids needed to go back and seem okay with it. I was sent an email that my student teaching started Monday, yea- praise! Then when I logged onto my school website, my course that goes with my student teaching was removed - STRESS! Then I had to explain the the teacher I am working with that I don't know if this is going to happen or not. This went on for 3 days - STRESS! John now needs to be in Latchkey so I can be at the school with the teachers by 8:15. I have no money - STRESS! Thankfully after one of my doctor appointments this week I had time to run to Job and Family Services and get paperwork to apply for child care assistance - PRAISE!. I haven't had time to get it back to them while they are open - STRESS! It takes about a month to process the forms - STRESS! I am BROKE- STRESS! I have had a migraine every day this week. I haven't slept hardly at all the entire week - STRESS! My back is killing me! My schedule is back to super busy and I don't know how I am going to do it. I have so many appointments and meetings that conflict with my teaching schedule or the kids. Check that, I won't do it, God will - PRAISE!
So, I am trying not to focus on the negative, but the blessings. I have doctors working on fixing my health issues! I am in a classroom and my advisor is trying to get all the knots out of my situation so that I can continue without issue in student teaching. I am supposed to graduate with my Masters degree in May! (I am ignoring the $225.00 that school wants in 18 days to apply for graduation.) My kids are healthy. I still have a roof over our head and utilities on. I have great friends and a great support system. After the week I had I almost didn't go to my Small group Bible study, but I tried to give it to God and enjoy myself, and I did. I had some really relaxing and happy moments and I am glad I went. I am tired, but I'm going to bed tonight thanking God for working on my praises and answering my prayers. No matter what, I am going to graduate this year with my masters degree. I feel that God is at work in my life, and somehow it will all work out.
Tomorrow is John's first Upward basketball game this season. James is back to Saturday school. I have homework to do, lots of housework to do. The snow needs shoveled. I need to spend time with my kids enjoying each other. I need sleep. I need to go to church. It would be nice to see my parents and my sister's family. I haven't seen anyone since Christmas Eve, really. All in all, I could complain, but what's the point? God has honored me and answered prayers and I am thankful and I know He will give me the rest I need when I am fully able to give Him the stress he can handle for me. I try way too hard to be Dependable Super Woman that can be a full time single parent with children with their own special requirements and be a great daughter and aunt and sister and student and employee. I am really thankful that I love my part time job, because my exhaustion wouldn't handle it with a job I didn't enjoy.
So, Happy New Year, try to be positive, say your prayers, but remember to be thankful for your blessings. Give your hectic schedule and stress to the One who wants it - Jesus! Amen - Dena
